UpcoRaul

Many people have told me I get distracted easily. I don't take it too personal, because I know I do. But I, like many of you (I'm sure) may do this as well. Suddenly staring into the void and wondering how life would be if...

Many can say that you're out of your mind, or that you're too distracted into your own world. Truth is, why is it so bad getting distracted into your own world when it is much more interesting than the actual one? Where everything is possible and nothing is wrong. Where it is possible to hold a tree's hand, or dig a hole to China, or discover a secret dungeon with many secrets? Visit heaven and hell without being bound to stay on them forever. Jump from the highest building and falling harmlessly into the ground?

I still keep my feet on the ground, not because I hate twisting reality, but because the best way to do it is knowing what real is and then breaking everything it's made of.

A lot has happened this last year. I might say I've changed much more than any other year I've lived. I might be proud of saying that all things I've started doing have been my own decisions and not the product of peer pressure, etc. So yeah, I think that could be some kind of accomplishment... maybe?

Anyways. I got some nice Christmas presents this year. I'm not an Apple/Mac fan mainly because I like to see ahead of time. For example, why buy a mac book when I could buy a powerful laptop that might be a couple of hundred bucks cheaper? And you might say: Well, hey, quality is not the same! Well, that's true, but what happens if ONE key from my mac keyboard stops working? I would have to send the WHOLE laptop for repairment to an official mac store because you can't repair it yourself since I doubt many of us have the proper tools to open and repair a macbook. So, asides from that, having a laptop is way better for me. Cheaper, there's at least five different places you can go to for repairment for less than 10 bucks and if one day, a big hardware update comes up, you can just buy it and place it yourself on the computer. THAT my friends is the benefit of a normal pc. So, I can't remember why I said that.... OH RIGHT, I got a new cellphone (thank god since my last cellphone was a blockia (that's how we call Nokias in Mexico, because old ones resemble blocks, yeah it's a word-game)) which is an LG Smartphone and I'm happy about it. Asides from the phone, I got the usual grown up christmas presents everybody gets: clothes, boxers, socks, etc. lmao.

But this year I got myself a christmas present. From me to myself, you may say. I got a book called "Awakening: The Art of Halo 4". Now before I say anything else, I like Halo 4, yeah, it's a nice game, you shoot aliens and other spartans, bla bla yadda yadda BUT this book is not about Halo 4 is about the ART of halo 4. It is basically a book full of concept art for the game, you know, scenery, drawings, quick sketches, etc. All the necessary concept art needed to create the Halo 4 world.

I don't know you, but I love to watch how games were imagined BEFORE they were released. This is called pre-production, I guess, where various artist just sketch and sketch and everyone comes up with ideas and combine them to form a solid one. The point is, I love watching these images because they kind of inspire me. I really want to become a concept artist myself and these pictures and the random paragraphs written explaining which problems they had and how they solved it are incredibly interesting for me.

So this year, my plans are quite simple. I have various resolutions for my creative side and one of them will be completing a drawing AT LEAST once a week. I also want to become better with digital art. I know traditional must not be forgotten and should be practised but let's face reality: Digital is trending right now. So yeah, I might do some little sketches or pencil drawings traditionally and some quick drawings digitally. If I do that, I'd love to see what turns out. I'd be posting everything up here, more from me than for you, so I can see how am I progressing and what should I improve.

Now, before I go I'd really like to wish all of you watchers a really nice 2013. I've befriended many of you and you have all been really nice to me, you have interesting stories to share and even amazing tips to give. I wish to see all of you at you fullest this year and see how all of us improve our drawing skills for next year! Let 2013 be a great year for all of us

I was walking down the street at night. Cars passing by, cabs, whores... I didn't care much. Before that I was told to take a taxi back home. I told them I could just walk by the street and wait for one... they told me I'd be dead before that. Dangerous city it seems. They give me a lot of taxi numbers. I ring all of them, never ask for one. I try to make the call for one. Little voice in my head tells me it's better that way. Lady answers; asks me for direction. I pray any unnatural force to hear the words "there are none available at the time". I keep hoping to hear that voice. It happens. Time to go. I said by before. No need to do it again. I leave unnoticed, the way I want to. I walk all night long and not a single threat has gone by. Dangerous city? Not a single threat...

Lucky me?

I keep walking and find myself on the main street. Cars passing by, cabs, whores... I still don't care. I'm just waiting for something to happen, as if I were destined to be there at that specific time. I enter a store, buy cigarettes and a coke. I ask the lady if she has any change for my 200 pesos bill. She says yes.

Phone rings. Unidentified number. I answer. This guy, asking me where I was. I tell him there's no need to be worried about me. He asks again. I feel the sudden urge to hang up to him. He raises his voice and asks again. I answer. He tells me there's a cab coming for me. I don't need it. There's one just outside the store and it's available for me to hop on whenever I want to. I still wait.

Cab arrives. I take it.

Long way from home. The price rises. I see the streets passing by... the cars, other cabs... the whores. Not caring. I decide to hop off at a friend's house. I pay the cab. She says goodbye, I do so too. I keep walking.

Home's not far away. I've walked that distance countless times. It's dark, it's late... it's dangerous. Still... no threat. Lucky me? I start thinking. How can I call myself lucky if I've been waiting for a fight, for a run, for anything that would speed my heartbeat and make myself feel alive? How lucky is a person who gets exactly what he does not ask for? How come that I get my prayers answered while being an atheist and all those people devoting their life to a god are still fighting for cancer, AIDS... better problems worth solving. But then it hits me... we all have bad luck. We never get what we want and we never get what we ask. We want black, we get white.

Lots of thinking. Stop thinking. Over-thinking kills your mind.

Makes you ask questions you don't know the answer to. Makes you ask yourself questions you don't want to know the answer to. I keep walking, home's not too far now. Still no threat. Houses, parties, lights, people... none looking for a fight. I want to fight. I want to get punched. I need to feel I'm alive and that I'm lucky to be alive. I need something to make me keep going. Something worth of going on with each day that, to me, is a wasted day.

I keep walking. I get home. There's a white cat outside my house. Been there for a few months now. She's partly-deaf. Can't listen to me passing by her side. I knock the door. My brother opens up. I go upstairs, turn on the laptop.

Need to write.
Need to think.
Need to fight.
Need a reason.
Need to feel alive.

Hello my fellow friends It's been, what? Two weeks since I last updated my journal. So here I am once more talking to you about a story you might not even care about or are too bored that you just like to read what's up with other people around the world.

Anyway, It's been two weeks since I entered college and let me tell you: I love it. Yes, there are some boring parts like homework, but the thing is that every single homework I get is something that I really enjoy doing. For example, I had to do an animation which you might have probably seen by now (it's on my gallery) and I did lots of stuff that involved Photoshop. I would upload them but I think they just don't belong to my gallery. So yeah, my first class was Business. At my college, we have 2 weeks of the same class, so once those two weeks are over, the class is over as well. Pretty neat, huh? I don't have to worry about other subjects so I can just focus on the same one and end up with a better job. Tomorrow I start with this new class called "Evolution of Arts and Design I". What does it mean? Hell if I know. I checked the program and apparently we just talk about art, sounds boring but, who knows? It might be interesting.

NEXT TOPIC... The Grey! Yes, that movie about Ra's Al Ghul origins right before he became the master and leader of the league of shadows... I'm obviously kidding. The Grey is probably among the best movies I've seen in my life. It's really brilliant but if I tell you more about it I'll just screw it for you. So, WATCH IT! "Once more into the fray, into the last good fight I'll ever know, live and die on this day. Live and die on this day."

NEXT! Silent Hill: Downpour. So I started playing this game about three months ago with a bunch of friends and we sort of made this "pact" of finishing the game together. Time went by and most of us couldn't get to the meeting so we wouldn't advance, so last Friday I went to Blockbuster (yes, Blockbuster still exists in Mexico) and saw Silent Hill: Downpour and it was available for rent (as in, no one else had rented them) and I said "TO HELL WITH THE PACT!" and rented it. I also got some neat Avengers Special Edition card so I kind of won lol. And the next day, I finished the game! Many people are saying the Silent Hill franchise is dying, but I got to admit I've enjoyed all the ones that have been coming out lately. I loved SH1, SH5, and now SH8. Lol, I might get killed by many Silent Hill fans but I'm being honest here.

On an extra note: I've been losing lots of friends lately. I feel weird. Many of them swore they would be with me forever and blablabla, and now they won't even talk to me or invite me to their parties or reunions. I guess that's sad but I still got some few of them asides from some good friends I really enjoy talking to here in dA ;D So yeah, basically nothing lasts forever and as soon as something's over, very few people have actually got the determination to continue, which is sad because that means the other group of people were just with you because "they didn't have a choice" . BAH, enough with the emo stuff! No one should need anyone to be happy with their lives!

So yeah, I've been trying to write a Silent Hill fan fiction with OC's. I want to try and see if I can actually create something good, even if no one reads it, I'll keep updating it haha, perhaps some bored soul will ultimately read it and get hooked or something. So, tomorrow I start studying how cavemen painted and how we paint now, I'll keep writing my fan fiction AND, of course, I'll keep on drawing.

Oh, by the way, I'm doing free commissions c: I just need a little inspiration as to what to draw. So yeah, I'll ink it and probably paint it, depending on how much free time I've got on my schedule. With nothing else to say to you, (I've said anything, most of you guys don't know my friends so I feel good speaking my mind to you lmao) I'll be off right now, I'll continue typing that fan fiction and I hope you all guys have a GREAT week. Good things will happen we just got to wait for them.

I don't think I can briefly explain what this means...
*random guy screams* FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE THIS MONDAY! RUUUN!!!
Well, I guess that shortens it up. That's right guys, I'm having my first day on college tomorrow. I'll be studying digital animation as a first step to put myself into the gaming industry as a game designer. I really want to design characters, weapons, scenarios, stories for videogame companies, so I got to get the best out of me, no time to be procrastinating or lazy. But do not worry, this only means that I might be updating my deviantart way more regularly, since most of my work will have to be nearly perfect and will be about drawing (I guess) so yeah, people Wish me luck and if you still have got some vacations left... I HATE YOU. (I don't, I love you c

So anyways, if you like Metal Gear (which I doubt any of my followers like it :c) I just uploaded a youtube video where I draw Null. Null is Gray Fox, but before that he was known as Null formerly known as Frank Jaeger (The Frank Hunter). Here's the youtu.be/7EPcqlrjROs . Whatever guys, it's a terrible video, I hated my drawing but hey, I was bored and I had to update my youtube account (even though no one watches me *sobs*) lmao have a nice day/night/evening/dawn whatever you're having right now and I hope to see you again, because I've noticed the absence of certain people (yes, you... where are you?)